The expert master coach and psychologist, Rosa Barriuso facilitated a meeting focused on the The value of respect in the education of adolescents, inviting parents, educators and coaches to reflect from a clear premise: To teach respect, we first need to learn to respect.
An activity held as part of the ICF International Coaching Week, as well as for EEC Alumni, which brought together nearly a hundred people, who have the opportunity to delve deeper into Rosa's proposal with Rosa on the programme. Specialisation in Adolescents and Families, which she herself teaches at EEC.
A systemic look at adolescence
During the activity, Rosa Barriuso suggested understanding adolescence as a Bridge stage marked by insecurity, trial and error, in which learning occurs to a large extent by modellingTeenagers learn more from what they see than from what they are told.
A useful distinction was also highlighted to better accompany: Separate the person from their behaviour.. It is possible to maintain unconditional respect for a teenager's identity while also educating them about boundaries and behaviour.
Three practical keys to maintaining respect in teen relationships
Rosa Barriuso shared three concrete levers for nurturing the bond without sacrificing educational authority:
- Listening as a “thermometer” of respect: when a person feels heard, they feel validated.
- The trialsTo recognise that our opinions are not universal and that humility (not arrogance) opens conversation.
- Emotionsto legitimise emotion and educate expression (“emotion is legitimated, expression is educated”).
Throughout the session, a particularly relevant idea was also worked on: not to blame the other person for what happens to meand to train self-regulation to avoid falling into reactive loops.
A closing with a lot of truth
Towards the end, a session for questions and real-life cases opened up. Among the most powerful reflections, Rosa pointed out how, sometimes, We treat those we love the worst., precisely because of the fear that appears when we love. And he closed with a direct invitation: “I can't give what I don't have”, so respect for others begins with Self-respect.
Recommended resources
References were shared to delve deeper, including Daniel Siegel (Brainstorm), Marshall Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communicationand the titles “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” (and its teenage version).
