Sometimes we wait idly for something to happen, we think that our expectation will be fulfilled without us doing anything about it. But how do we know that what we want will actually happen?
For the RAE, expectation is, precisely, «hope of realising or achieving something», «reasonable possibility of something happening», «possibility of obtaining a right, an inheritance, a job or something else, on the occurrence of an event that is foreseen». And it defines «in expectation» as «not acting or making a determination until we see what happens».
To live thinking that our expectations «have» to materialise because it is the right thing to do, or because we deserve it, or because it has always been like that makes us remain in a state of waiting and permanent inaction.
Expectation is an internal conversation
Living in the world of expectations is accompanied by private conversations and internal dialogues. (and unproductive) in which we tell each other things like «I don't need to tell you what I want, you already know, you've known me for years» or «the promotion is mine because I have more experience, everyone knows that».
When the expectation is «surprisingly» not fulfilled, suffering and resentment set in.We see ourselves as victims and do not take our share of responsibility for the event.
A question of commitment
The opposite of remaining in expectation is to dare to ask, to be vulnerable and to share out loud what we are in need of.
It would be, continuing with the previous example, asking the boss to consider us among the candidates for promotion or expressing to the partner what it is in particular that we expect from him/her. It would be actively committing ourselves to what we want.
What are you waiting for to happen... magically? What could you do to help make it happen? What would be a first step for you?
