Listening and answering. Two people are talking, both participate, both comment, both hear what the other says. They are talking in the form of a dialogue. Now, are they listening to each other? If there is a lack of empathy, there is no listening. Putting oneself in the place of the other person becomes listening.
Empathy is practised through listening.
In coaching we work with two powerful terms for the act of listening: active listening and empathic listening.
Listening is, in coaching, consciously listening to what the other person says and also allowing what the other person says to change me, it is being open to their way of thinking and seeing the world, it is incorporating at a deep level the different and new ideas in my way of thinking and contrasting if there is something redeemable for me.
If active listening means listening carefully to the words, empathic listening goes a step further and also involves listening to the needs, concerns and emotions that accompany what the other person tells us but does not come out in words.
We illustrate this with two short videos.
VIDEO EXAMPLE OF ACTIVE LISTENING
When do you find that active listening is happening, when is it missing?
VIDEO EXAMPLE OF EMPATHIC LISTENING
Distinguishing that Joy would be active listening and Sadness would be empathic listening...
When was the last time you felt you were an empathetic listener, what enabled that listening, do you remember a time when someone listened to you like that, what happened, what happened?
