By Marian Jaén, student of the Coaching Certification Programme in Madrid.
Today, apprenticeship is no longer an option for those who wish to survive and succeed. Being open to change and to unlearning things in order to learn new things is a necessity in any area of our lives., not only in the workplace.
This is what coaching is all about: to change the kind of observer we are being and to learn. But learning can be uncomfortable, it forces us out of our comfort zone into the unknown and puts our self-esteem and personal beliefs at risk.
Moreover, for many people, individuals are static and unchanging and change is not an option. Not for those who treat judgements as if they were assertions. Nor for those who do not know the difference between well-founded judgements and unfounded judgements. In terms of resistance to change and missed opportunities for learning, these two forms ways of being, (proposed by Echeverría in Ontology of Language), are closely interrelated.
Things are as I think they are
For anyone who thinks that things are the way he sees them, the only option available is that his interpretation is the good one and is, moreover, the absolute truth.. These people will often say things like you are going to teach me" or Nobody has to tell me how to do it, who do not accept discussion on the subject and who brand anyone who thinks differently as wrong. These are people whose willingness to learn new things is zero.
Accompanying these profiles so that they realise that other interpretations are possible, that other observers may see things differently and that their observations would be as legitimate as their own, is a way of bringing them closer to change.
I am the way I am and that's that
In this case, the logical consequence is that this person will never change. My mother, for example, often says that in order for her to be different, she would have to be born again. She does not see any possibility of changing her way of thinking or acting, nor does she even consider it.
Working on distinction SER (no change possible) “ I AM BEING (if there is a possibility of change) can be of great help in making the person aware that 'by doing' he or she can achieve 'being' what he or she wants.
"My teacher has a grudge against me"."
Not knowing how to base our judgements properly leads us to victimhood, to think that it is always others or the conjunction of the planets that are to blame for what happens to us, and therefore, there is nothing they can do. Why bother to act, to try to change?
Immobility, resistance to change turns their limited world into a prison, denies the opportunity to do different things, to meet other people, to grow, to improve or even to indulge in mistakes.
Learning to substantiate judgements, for example, would allow a student to realise that the teacher does not 'have it in for him/her' but that there may be another explanation, such as not studying hard enough to get good marks.
Getting out, or not, of the comfort zone
Selinger, in 2000, proposed a new model of learning that distinguished three zones: the comfort zone, the learning zone and the panic zone.
- In the comfort zone we feel comfortable, we know in depth and we are not afraid to make mistakes.
- In the learning zone, We are interested in something, but as it is unknown, we enter it with some hesitation until we become skilled.
- In the panic zone, We generally do not enter of our own free will.
The The comfort zone is usually built on what makes us feel safe, but this may change and it may no longer be safe.
In certain cases, and despite this, we can make the terrible mistake of staying put. Like the frog in the experiment, which is no stranger to the danger of being in a pan and will boil to death, without realising it, if we slowly and gradually raise the temperature.
Many people and companies act in this way, in a way that was once effective, without realising that it is no longer effective. They do it because it is the only way they have known and they are comfortable with it, even though it no longer works. They are reluctant to leave their comfort zone. Only when they feel really uncomfortable or unhappy do they look for alternatives.
Change, learning and transformation
In short, let's stop putting up obstacles and stop looking at ourselves as something static and unchanging. Let us accept change as an option, let us try to live life with passion, with a continuous desire to learn, with optimism, trying to develop all the potential within us and remembering that we have the capacity to regenerate ourselves and to adapt to the world we live in. I would like to end this reflection by recalling the Hindu proverb that says: Nothing has changed. Only I have changed. Therefore, everything has changed. It seems to me that it clearly reflects what transformational learning entails.
